My Beautiful Daughter
I wrote this piece just after beginning my relentless commitment cognitive behavioural therapy. A practice I continue to get an immense amount of value from, particularly due to the divinity of my therapist who is so lovingly committed to her work and supporting my journey.
I wanted to be a different human being than i was.
I wanted to trust people
I wanted to be authentic
and brave, to have faith in myself
I wanted to lose the toxicity that stemmed from my experiences and I couldn’t figure and
I wanted to stop being so constantly driven by fear and anxiety and
I wanted to stop behaviours that felt so incongruent with my soul
and I wanted to do it all for my kid, who I wanted to have different and better experiences than mine, a wish I am hopeful that every parent has for their children.
I wanted my effort, my suffering and my challenge to be in the name of her joy, her courage and her self belief, things that I had to, for whatever reason, earn and learn the hard way.
A cheeky grin
And that grazed shin
You throw yourself at it
Even if there's nothing to win
But you want in
And want to be heard
For much of this life so far
Seems so absurd
But curiosity and creativity combine
For we do not know which is yours and which is mine
But your figuring it out , too fast for my liking
Is a way of you blossoming , its my pride just spiking
You are a beautiful girl
And you have been zero to 6
One big ball of loving energy
Intensely focussed on specifics
Girl you make me proud
Even if a bit nervous
Your ability to negotiate
Seems so impervious
But it's just strong will, bound by your hopes
A life you see with immeasurable scope
And I wish for you to never change
To challenge and question
Your love of all things
It is your perfection
And I'm just Dad
Who's had it wrong and had it right
But my job is clear
To allow you to allow yourself a full flight
You my little angel
Are my guide to rewrite
That which I've mourned
And that which I regret
Are a way for you to allow yourself
The magic in you yet
Love Daddy
